I can barely believe it has been almost 2 years since I found out the disgusting truth of my husband’s character. The day I heard the truth come from his best friend. The moment which had my hands shaking from disbelief, shock and falling into the depths of a depression. I have fought hard to try to pick up all of the pieces of my life and I can’t lie. It’s been the most difficult thing I have ever had to do.
You expect that when you get married to someone, you are safe. That they will protect you from the horrors of the world, and hold your fragility with your best interests in their heart. HAH! What a load of shit that is! I made a huge mistake believing my marriage, my life and everything I had built was impervious to the snakes of his workplace. He turned out to be the most deceitful person I have ever met! 😦 I say that with nothing but cold truth. He gas lighted me until I truly believed that I was crazy! I have a lot of anger to get over.
Her name is Morgan McGrath. She lives in Calgary and I hate her because of what she did with MY HUSBAND. It’s common sense for any one person to know you DON’T EVER CROSS THE BOUNDARIES of a MARRIAGE. She is a typical blonde. Selfish, conceited, and may I say ugly in her natural state? Seriously. She has to turn herself into a cake face to even look like something that a man would look at. At least I am blessed in that manner. I’m half irish, scottish and first nations.
The affair began almost 10 years ago. But I learned of it only not even 2 years ago. It had the same effect it would have had if I had discovered it happening when it was. There are days when I hate her. I have contemplated putting her up on The Dirty or She’s a Homewrecker. Why does she get to get away with having destroyed my peace and sanity after what she did? I contacted her very briefly on Facebook. I sent her a very quick message to let her know that I KNOW! Then I blocked her. In all honesty, what was the friggin’ purpose of that? So, I unblocked her, and now…..I have REALLY struggled with wanting to write a letter and send it to her on Facebook. What would I say? How would I say it? Would I share that I have been through hours of therapy to try to realign my mind into not tricking itself into thinking I need to remain in constant hyper vigilant mode? I had to retrain my mind…my brain to believe that I wasn’t under threat and had to reprogram the amygdala into believing that I was going to be ok, because it was holding me hostage by re-looping every second of the traumatic moment when I learned of my husband’s love affair with Morgan. I now do have thoughts of leaving this behind and working to forgive her, despite her not even having said she is sorry. I look at her picture on Facebook, and there are mad moments when I wish with every cell in my body that something horrible would happen to her as a result of the karma that she put out. A terrible accident in which she is forever paralyzed. A fire in which she is horribly disfigured for life. A disease that would strip her of her dignity and isolate her…..the way that her actions with my husband did to me.
Alas….I know if I wrote a letter, it would be one in which I would politely share what I have been through. In the end, I am not a malicious, mean person. My purpose would be to extract her side of the story by somehow winning her trust. HAH! Disillusioned or what???
What are your thoughts? Should I write a letter?